Why should I watch Matt Damon cry without her at my side?
I pined as days went by, but now it’s fine
‘Cause in the end, we’re such close friends, sugar-n-spice, and since then
There’s more time for me, I’ve started a diary and washed my car again
And I can watch Good Will Hunting by myself (it’s cool, it’s fine)
I can shop for clothes without her help (it’s cool, it’s fine)
I can hang out with my friends, do the good times ever end?
Yeah I can watch Good Will Hunting by myself
It’s okay that you haven’t called me in a week or two
I’m sure it’s hard for you, it’s been hard for me too
But as long as wood still floats, I can sow my wild oats and paint the town red
The party’s far from dead, I’m happy in my empty bed
Girl, I remember when we was sittin’ on your couch
Watchin’ Good Will Hunting, holdin’ hands and drinkin’ milkshakes
But milkshakes melt, people change, and you dumped me on my birthday
Right after I bought you that really expensive thing from the Body Shop
Called Jojoba Loofah Milktowel or something like that
That I sold 147 Cutco knives to afford, but whatever, hey, it’s cool
I’ve moved on you know, I’m happy now – well, happy in a crying sorta way
You know, curled up naked in the shower biting your knees wishing you were dead kinda happy
But I realized you were right, we were never meant to be
And you know what? Thank God
‘Cause you’re the most vapid, whiny blah I’ve ever met
Always making fun of my clothes, telling me how hot other guys are, asking me to pay you gas money?!
Buy your own gas you bug-eyed mooch – it’s your car and it costs more than my house
Oh and now you’re going around trying to sleep with my friends
Hey good, that really makes you an empowered individual – no wait, did I say empowered individual? I meant two-cent gutter slut
Listen you tanning-bed-baked, broke-ass, goat-faced, oompa-loompa monkey problem
I am proud to shop at Target, I’ll wear warm-up pants any day of the week
Yes, your ass did look fat in those jeans, your mom’s a M.I.L.F.
And I plan to get on your little sister just as soon as I give her a call back, oh and you know what else?
You can watch Good Will Hunting by yourself (you bitch, please die)
You can waste your life without my help (you bitch, please die)
You can hang out with your friends, that is if you had any friends
You can watch Good Will Hunting by yourself ‘til your eyes fall out
You can watch Good Will Hunting by yourself – I hope your eyes fall out
Why don’t you go watch it by yourself? Go to hell!